Secret Mojo Dumbs It Down for You

July 28, 2006

Secretary Rice fandangles riverrun Jabberwocky

Filed under: Humor,Israel/Lebanon,News,Politics — secretmojo @ 10:49 am

Secretary Rice Canerdling with the Girmack SplenderlouslikeU.S. Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice did some stuff in the Middle East this week. She also said shit, moved around a bit, and met with dudes.

In Rome, she delivered a speech about junk and other crap alongside that guy from Lebanon, who talked about various bullshit. Rice promised to “Do more whatchamacallit to enhance things and bring a long awaited rapeteta to the Middle Whatever.”

In the midst of an escalating war between Israel and Lebanon, and mounting civilian casualties, Rice rushed to the Middle East after 13 days of conflict to briefly meet with various Guys and Hominas and discussed a plan for “getting somebody to eventually do something when the situation has properly thingamajigged.”

Despite the U.S. demand of a “never cease firing” resolution at the U.N. Security Council last week, Secretary Rice says she “hope[s] of an eventual end to whatever is so crazy and, like, ‘birth,’ you know.”

Asked whether Rice will return to the Middle East after going to Malaysia, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow answered, “Why’s that? I think she pretty much wrapped it up over there. Weren’t you paying attention earlier?”

Next week, Rice plans to return to Washington, where she will regroup before taking a tour to South Korea to talk about the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, to Singapore to address human rights, a short visit to Russia to develop diplomatic relations, and a trip to France to deliver a small seminar on Financial Viability in the Modern Age to various EU organizations.

But first, she says she’s got “pivotal Middle East gimcrack to canoodle in Kuala Lumpur, and, you know, whatever.”

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